He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
