But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
