Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
