I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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