I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize