I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
