is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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