so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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