I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
