somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
