I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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