Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
