You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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