it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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