bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
