so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
