whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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