You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
