# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
