Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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