i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
