This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
