Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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