do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
