So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
