I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
