I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
