im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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