last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
