hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
