...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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