So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
