Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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