You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
