He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
