You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
