Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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