Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
