i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Come share oat with me in your robe
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
