I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
