with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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