Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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