dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
