this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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