Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
