I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
