ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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