So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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