smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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