you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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