Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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