So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
