it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so let's talk penis.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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