I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
