how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
