There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
