Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said her name was "party"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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