fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
