The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
