So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
