He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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