She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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